I just want something I can never have.

I don't want to be here lately, obviously. Im not even friends with the friends that I made here lately, I just need a break from everyone. I want to see my family, my best friend, my close friends, people, anyone/anything from jamestown. I search through "familiar" faces here, for real genuine faces that care. I am started to let the small things about everyone bother me and since that has been happening, I have found myself staying in my room, every chance I get. My four walls that once entrapped me, have now become my sanctuary. If I can't be home, I will be there until I can go home. I have a count down running, until I am home. I honestly can't wait to be "not here". I miss my real friends, I miss my life. Sure, there are some people that I am going to want to see again, but the majority, sadly, I can live without. The friends you make in college are supposed to be the friends you keep forever, but I find myself not wanting to believe that, mainly because I am attached to my old friends. I am constantly reminded of how much I miss them too, so I can't let them go. These are some of the things running through my mind. Others, are problems that I am having with my old friends. I am stuck in limbo land with a couple, and I hate being there. One hangs in the balance of a really good friend, to just another friend. Another is me not wanting to deal with another friend's problems, I usually will listen, but I find myself annoyed with it lately. I just cannot wait to be home and figure it all out. And see my cat.

P.S.....I am really excited to eat turkey....yum